The Law of Programming
Programming is actually the way in which your patterns are fitted together. Basically you also have been programmed positively. Naturally this does not bother you! Negative programming is where you suffer from and makes life difficult; this is what needs to be looked at. When someone comes into my practice to see me, the first thing I do is to make an inventory of the present problems. I need the ‘now’ stories in order to discover the negative programming from ‘then’. We transpose the present situation to events in the life of the client between birth and four years. I also ask about the antenatal period. Together we find out how the present problems are repetitions of the past, and how this natural law works.
Speyer – whose student I was halfway through the seventies and early eighties - discovered this natural law and wrote about it in his books: ‘Now I understand myself’ (1975) and ‘Shut up, - I love you’ (1980). He was an original thinker and self-taught man who, based on his own childhood experiences and inspirational influences, came to develop Speyertherapy. In the eighties he received an honorary doctors’ degree for his work in San Francisco.
The 'Then-and-Now' Principle
Speyer described it as follows:
'Then – and - Now' means everything that happens to a person in his or her early childhood, will be repeated in later life in exactly the same way. Although the actors on stage have changed, the role-playing is unchanged.
In the case of 'bad programming’, the child, when it is grown up, will follow the same rules that its parents transferred to him when it was young (programming is the parent to child instruction of - among other things - the survival mechanism).
The programming period runs from before birth until approximately the age of five.
This implies clearly that all its emotional expressions will come with mental and sometimes physical pain. At the same time the child is longing for an ideal situation. Too often this longing becomes the unbending desire of later life. Unfortunately it has to stay a wish, because it is an unattainable childhood desire. Like it was ’then’, it is ‘now’.
The typically problematical person is the one that is never able ‘to find it’. Everything that should not happen to him happens. Everything he wishes, he cannot get, and when he does he will run away from it or ruin it.
A child’s most common 'nagging’ problem has to do with how it experiences the love of its parents and the way this develops in his adult life. This actually should be called a 'no love life'.
To be able to maintain a good relationship with your loved one today, it appears to be very crucial as to how your parents associated with you when you were little and you did not know anything yet. Parents have to show their children that they are the most important human beings in their life. They have to love them in a warm, open and affectionate way, always, just and fair, non-manipulative, without forcing, without guilt, without expectations, without pushing and reproaching, just because the child is who it is...'
Of course, a parent can only do this if he is in balance with himself and suffers no undigested pain from his own parents… previous